Character Descriptions

I.W. HARPER: (40's - 60's) I.W. is the leader of The Lush Thrushes. He is a wise, patient but world-weary old Cowboy who cracks a Mean Bullwhip. Completely devoted to his wife, Tia Maria. Extremely likeable.

TIA MARIA: (40's - 60's) A Latin Spitfire who fears her own Expiration Date is near! She slips in and out of her thick Spanish Stage Accent and is prone to very loud Aye-Ya-Yiiiii outbursts! Madly in love with her man!

JOHNNY WALKER: (30's - 40's) A vain, preening Cowboy who pretends to be a villainous Black Bart but is overly concerned that his Private Lifestyle may blow up his carefully crafted Macho Image!

JACK DANIELS: (teens - 30's) He is an instantly loveable Hayseed. Sweet, Innocent, Naïve and relentlessly eager to lose his virginity. He is onstage throughout, often strumming his guitar or offering commentary on the other Lush Thrushes’ behavior. Must be able to carry a tune.

SOUTHERN COMPORT: (20's - 30's) Her name says it all! She is unabashedly sexy, wild and spontaneous, although hardly the brightest girl. She acts on all her worst impulses and doesn’t mince words with anyone.

THE ANNOUNCER: A former Wrestling Announcer, whose booming voice gives us our first introduction to Whiskey and The Lush Thrushes at The Houston Astrodome. He is never seen but must interact with the cast over a backstage microphone. He also performs as Whiskey, the horse, throughout the play, from behind a curtain.

THE TELEVISION HOST: This role will likely be recorded in advance, so the actress will not need to attend every performance. She is a Texas entertainment reporter, with a thick, deliberate Twang!